Really appreciate all this information.
I also had no idea about all this stuff about triggering and your explanations have started to make a lot of things make sense. I know it’s him who has to work on it but if I can understand a bit better then I can work harder to not enable this behaviour. Also when I tried to discuss it with him I probably start judging and it’s really hard to just casually discuss it because of the upset it has caused.
there’s a particular singer he listens to on the days when he’s acting a bit off and I thought it was all in my head as I couldn’t work out what was going on but now makes sense he might be listening to the music first and its triggering it. I have previously said I don’t like the music as it does glamorise using, and it’s its all that what you mentioned before with their friends at a pool party drinking cocktails look how cool they are. But I think I’m going to have to be more straightforward and say I do not want to watch this music video.
Iv been worried to be too straightforward with opinion before as he is like two different people so the one doing it gets really offended even if I’m trying to be helpful.
I just need to be more encouraging of the side he’s being at the moment that wants to do better and your insight has been really helpful, thank you so much.