Needingstrength I’m so sorry to read your story. It’s devastating isn’t it and I can relate completely. I’m pleased Roy were able to write about the behaviour- in being abusive and bullying. My husband was this too and very controlling. I was always one to stand up for myself as I knew his behaviour was off (I had no idea it was due to drugs) which I can now see made things worse. I’m trying to understand addiction as an illness but he is yet to really admit that is what it is to himself. I know he is planning on moving away from the area we lived in and he won’t admit to me he is still using but I think he is. Weekends are hit and miss, and I get the odd random replies to messages in the middle of the nights – just not normal.
I started divorce proceedings but despite him saying that’s what he wanted (because the cocaine was an escape from our marriage apparently- I can believe some of that because I was at my wits end of his behaviour and skirting responsibility!) he hasn’t replied to anything to do with it yet. I’ve tried – so hard despite this to get him to open up and he honest and find a way forward but I feel like until he gets out the normal he is in he has no intention of stopping and it will be a mask over it. I’m desperate for him to get help and despite all he has done and hurt us I just want him to get his act together for the sake of our children and if it really was the drugs making him so nasty then maybe much further down the line I might see my husband again but I think I am being very naive.