It sounds like he is on a really bad come down. Also the recovering addicts on here mention about how they would often start arguments so they could get away and do it again, so also bear in mind he could be being horrible so you argue then he feels he has an excuse to go do it again. (when I look back i can recognise times my husband has done this and now I try not to participate in the argument where possible). Also even though it hurts I do notice it passes and when he has gone enough days without coke he goes back to himself.
That’s great that you are thinking to make yourself happy, did you have any ideas? Plans you could make for you and your little one.
Well my husband had been feeling a bit down from having a few days off it and yesterday he actually told me honestly that he had been tempted to go and get some. I felt that was a bit of progress as honesty seems to be very hard for addicts and it feels like a bit of honesty can break the cycle of the lies and sneaking.