Hi,
Its is incredibly difficult to not blame yourself and also to stop it destroying other relationships.
We sent a long fair clear text because he would not answer calls or see his dad. Saying maybe you should get drug, alcholol, mental health and budgeting support, told him all our wishes of what he could achieve and it was achievable with hard work, commitment, soulsearching, but there is a love and a chance of a better family life if you do the work but no..
Ultimately no one change but them..especially when they have the crisis team trying to help and even they cant get him to engage. Most recent stay in mental health unit lasted 3 weeks then he got kicked out for getting on the drink.
I wish i had seen danmans advice 10 years ago. If only there were more danmans to speak to these lads before it gets serious x