Your story sounds very similar to my son’s, his dad was a very angry person who couldn’t control his temper. They are both stubborn people but my son is quite a gentle soul very into art and music.
He is very sure if his own rightness because he’s read so much and heard so many podcasts. He also genuinely thinks everyone should make all the allowances in the world for him to sit in his room all day. He will ask for stuff from the shops or a lift to get weed. If anyone criticises him it’s them being unreasonable. There is little gratitude for anything. He sat with us to eat on his birthday the other day but didn’t really want to. He just says that he is only here with us because it’s lockdown, forgetting that he pays no rent or food. As I’ve said all his cash goes on drugs.
He thinks recovery is just about getting off drugs but I think he needs to relearn how to live normally with the usual give and take of life. He does want to try getting clean again and I am sure the 12 step program would help him. I will talk to him when he’s more receptive. Thanks again for your thoughts and for being so open about your own experiences.