I know what you mean, but I always believe no matter how tough it gets for someone or how low a point you get to, there is some strength or courage somewhere inside you that’s made you take that step, and stick to it. Honestly well done, it’s really inspiring. I genuinely do believe my partner has got that in him somewhere, I think that’s why I get so frustrated sometimes.
He has had a pretty traumatic life particularly as a child, and sometimes I think he could have gone down that path as soon as he left home at 16, but he didn’t. He has worked every day of his life since being 16, he is so bright and insightful and intelligent, I KNOW he wants better for himself but he has such low self esteem and lacks so much confidence that’s what stops him, I think anyway. I probably don’t go about it the right way half the time, I try my best not to nag him or smother him with love LOL but sometimes it’s just how I am and I know that doesn’t help. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what I do he has to do it himself and take that step.
That’s so sad about your friend and it really scared me, there are so many stories and even someone in my family before I was born where they’ve died in a fired because they fell asleep drunk, I cannot bare the thought of it, and obviously I was in the house as well, it just doesn’t bare thinking about!
It does have to be a day by day thing you’re right, I actually tried that way years ago when I stopped smoking ‘just don’t do it today’ and then tomorrow is a different day. I might have suggested that to him in the past but he is so difficult to talk to and I don’t know if he can really think like that.
We don’t have kids together but he has 2 sons from his previous relationship who are 12 and 8. They are brilliant kids and he is truly an amazing dad, they adore him. I’ve tried to talk about them as well when we talk about the drinking just to try and get through to him and I think it does work to an extent. But then it all comes back to exactly what you’re counsellor said, and what you’ve said is exactly what he does. As soon as he gets paid it’s a few cans. I can see how delighted he is on payday and I know that’s why.
Sometimes I think to myself, am I being over the top about this? He isn’t alcohol dependent, he can go days without it and the days he does drink it’s just a few cans, should I lay off, maybe it’s not as bad as I feel like it is? It was much worse last year, when he was working as head chef and they went back to work in the summer after 2 months of furlough, he was drinking 8-10 cans a night for 10 nights on the run, so it’s nowhere near as bad as that now. Maybe I’ve just got so worked up in my head, I’ve made a mountain out of a mole hill.
But I am terrified of what could happen if it continues, I want him to address it now before it gets to that point but he doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem.
Has your GF found it hard supporting you? Have things been better between you since you’ve been off it? I bet she is so proud of you!