Hi Brooke714
I hope you are well, I never write or comment on here like you I just read through and never comment. Reading this just made me think of my relationship that has been on and of for 9 years due to cocaine, I have finally had enough too! His addiction has got worse over the years to the point I found out he owes a ridiculous amount of money to drug dealers. I have given him chance after chance tried helping him but there is nothing to help them I think they want a normal life but they just can’t seem to do it it’s sad it’s like you loose that person when they are on a binge, with texting escorts I had exactly the same I don’t know if this is the drugs or what I went through his emails and found that he had signed up to a site with lady Boys ! I was fuming I couldn’t believe what I was seeing he had texts come through from Babestation and god knows what else I have always asked my self is this really the drugs If you love someone would you want to hurt the woman you love? But every time I have asked him why he does it he says when you on coke you don’t think straight and you do stupid things, but god knows I split with him this Sunday just gone as I just was sick of the promises and all the lies, I don’t know if you have noticed but just changes them they are constantly angry snappy and never enjoy anything it’s so sad but an addict will always be an addict the feeling and temptation will always be there he was off it for 3 years and was the loveliest person ever if three years wasn’t enough to stop him then obviously that feeling is always there and they have to control it. In the end you drive your self crazy because you never trust them after what you know and the lies they tell. The lies got so bad on the coffee table you could see lines and white bits I said you been doing it again then and would bareface lie to me knowing I was standing there in front of him with it on my finger. It’s never ending it really drags you down I have never felt so depressed and completely lost my self one day you just think enough is enough how ever much you love them ! I’m so sorry to hear about your situation you have kids so must be so hard I don’t have any but he has 2 by 2 different women one was before we met she stopped her seeing him and the other kid was born through our our relationship!! And is now 3 and she also stopped him seeing him. The lies the cheating the no money the aggressiveness all just gets worse I can’t believe I haven’t walked away sooner I am gutted as I want my own kids one day and feel like I have wasted my best years on that looser . I really do hope you figure out what’s best for you in the end I think you just realise that they never change and you just have to put your self and your kids first and think of your happiness but you will only do it when your ready trust me I have gone back so many times but feel so different this time, thinking of you as I know how hard and horrible things can be always here if you need to chat