Thank you for your reply, it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has been through it, although in an ideal world, no one should have to go through.
I just wish I had the drive to leave him, I am my own worst enemy as I have given him ultimatums before and never stuck to them, which is why the situation has continued.
I wish I knew why I was staying, like I said I don’t rely on him for anything, and yes I love him but slowly think I am falling out of love with him.
The worst thing is the gaslighting, making you feel like you are going mad and seeing things and even when you know you are not, they just deny everything and it’s like talking to a wall.
I said to him “quit or il leave” he finally admitted to having a drug addiction and that he wants help, yet he’s spent the last two days walking around like he’s fine and nothing has changed. I honestly don’t know how I have ended up here.