I think your instinct is right- you need to prioritise your children. I don’t think it is underhand to call the police if she is being aggressive towards you or your children. It sounds like you are in the US, I am in the UK. But here we have a system where you make a diary of abuse/negative behaviour after reporting first incidents to the police. If it is on-going and you have recorded it then it can help your case. You might consider recording evidence if possible.
