I know, and this is what I’m always trying to understand, like is he unable to talk to me about it? Does he not thinks it’s a problem? Does he want to continue drinking and he’s annoyed because he thinks I’m going over the top? I feel like I never know where I stand or what to say. If I just don’t mention it, within a few days he’s back home after his walk drunk and we start all over again.
That’s so true with it being everywhere, and every social situation involves it, I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is for anyone trying to stay sober. No, I didn’t get him the beer and he has no money to get it himself, hence the cold shoulder when I got back! He’s not been great the last couple of days – he’s got a broken tooth which is bothering him but can’t get registered with a dentist because of Covid so I know that’s massively bothering him, plus not having money to drink. I just don’t know why he doesn’t feel he can lean on me or talk to me, I feel like it’s never going to happen. He took the kids back to their mums today, and then went out for a walk about 4pm, he’s still not back. I’ve text to see if he’ll be back soon and he just said no. I asked if he’s ok, he said, yeah. That’s all I get. No idea where he is, what he’s doing, or when he’ll be home, so I just sit here doing my own thing and being dragged emotionally from one extreme to the other. One minute I’m thinking he’s a grown man and I can’t control him, if he doesn’t want or need help from me that’s fine. Then the next minute I’m catastrophising thinking all kinds, what if he’s off cheating, stealing beers, what if he hurts himself? It’s so emotionally draining knowing what to do or think for the best.
I am so pleased to hear you had a lovely time in Blackpool! That is so sweet and I am sure that was the best feeling ever for you. Little does your daughter know just how strong and dedicated her dad is ☺️