Hi Bwjones48,
Welcome to the Forum, where there is great advice and you never feel that you are on your own.
I think that you did the right thing for you and your Son to distance yourself, I appreciate that it must hurt even after all this time.
Perhaps you need to talk to someone about your concerns about yourself, looking after you is important, have you seen your Doctor about your depression and anxiety?
The Icarus Trust is another place that you can talk to people that are experienced with different situations with people that are involved with addicts.
Keep in touch on here, never feel that you are on your own, take care.
Dx