Hi Jap88,
Really sorry to hear you’re riding a similar rollercoaster! I know the feeling of being in a complete limbo and it sounds like you’re starting to resign yourself to a change in your situation (probably not a bad thing but painful). The problem is this is about the time they turn up on the doorstep again, apologising, and the loop can so easily continue.
Maybe focusing on how you feel and getting what you want clear in your own head will help you make the right choices for you. Horribly, I ended up writing a simple pro’s vs con’s list of being in that relationship… once you remove the emotion bit (very difficult) and look at the actual facts in a list – well, I really couldn’t find a single pro anymore in having them involved in mine, and more importantly my children’s day-to-day lives. I never want to cut them out of the children’s lives but I need to remove all need for relying on them for absolutely anything, whatsoever!
Children always come before any adults. Children need stability and security above all things. If your focus (and it sounds like it is) is to provide those it’s amazing how many other things will fall into place. My partner on her own causes literally all instability/chaos in the household… it sounds like you endure much the same?
Apologies for the babbling – my thoughts are with you.
Angus