It is a difficult situation to be in when the person you love the most and has brought you so much happiness falls into this horrible situation.
The most important thing to remember is, if she doesn’t recognise her behaviour as a problem then she won’t change. The hardest thing is watching the person you love head into a downward spiral but until they realise that the only person who can change their behaviour is themselves.
Never put someone else’s mental health before your own, it sounds like your a great person and have done everything you can.
Maybe if you sit down with her when shes sober and calmly explain that its not only effecting her but its taking a toll on you and maybe, just maybe she’ll realise what she has to lose and is it really worth the pain she’s causing to the person she loves.
Many of people aren’t as lucky to have someone like you but it gets to a stage where its too much and if it did come to that it is important to remember that none of this is your fault, you have done everything you can.
You have the best intentions but only she can make that change.
Remember to look after your own mental health first and foremost and remember you’re not alone. People with loved ones and friends need support too.
Wishing you well and stay strong.