Hi anon1987 I was just reading your post and I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing? I am in a similar situation, my partner has in the last year admitted he is dependant too. I totally understand how you feel, I have horrible anxiety and recently panic attacks too. His family know but they are stick their hand in the sand types and so I have no-one to talk to as I am too ashamed to tell my family.
I am here if you need to chat.