Hi,
sorry I’ve been slow replying on here,
sometimes coming on here helps but other times I just try to avoid it as I do tend to work myself up.
anyway, currently I still haven’t made contact with her, so that’s over 5 weeks now.
pretty shocking that she still hasn’t in that time reflected on things enough to realise that it should be her contacting me, with one big apology.
but I don’t really think I will ever get it, or I certainly won’t whilst she wants drugs.
as for your question of whats in it for me etc,
well whilst she is like this, nothing is in it for me but hurt,
but I guess I’m still hoping for that other her to return, and weirdly she does return pretty quick once she’s opened her eyes again and wants to stop using drugs.
so I have had this side of her in recent times and on and off throughout all the bad times, which I guess is what keeps me going with some faith all the time.
I wonder if what we go through with our partners is similar to what someone goes through caring for a loved one with dementia etc, as that must be similar in that you love the person so much, and their body remains, but the person you love just seems to have gotten lost inside their body somewhere.