From all my reading, the blaming you sounds like an emotional relapse. It’s where the addicted person lashes out to create a climate where they can justify using again. It’s so hard on the ones who love them. I really hope for both of you that things get better.
I would recommend looking after yourself, keeping calm and offering any support that you feel able to. I recognise the exhaustion and emotional turmoil of recovery too.
I’ve found this forum really helps too