Wow it’s amazing to read the same/similar scenario to my own, as often happens here but I have often thought my own husband seems much more nastier and abusive than most stories I read. And I have questioned if it’s drugs or the real him. It’s hard to know where one starts and the other finishes. He too blames me for everything and created his own version of scenarios and statements to make me look crazy. I have been told I’m mentally ill a psycho etc when it was me who could see that something was way off. I dread to think what he has told his family as they have cut me and out young children off but he is a manipulator and a massive liar and unfortunately my reactions to his behaviour at times when I have asked for help probably supports that it’s me who is the problem and poor him. When they have literally no clue of how nasty he is to me and his children.
He lashes out, again I’ve no idea if it’s drugs or the real him but he swings between telling me he hates me it’s over he wouldn’t ever want to be with me etc to rare moments of remorse – very rare. But they come after what feels like closure of how bad things of gotten and yes it’s over . It’s a rollercoaster. I too think the lashing out enables him to justify using.
I’ve tried to maintain a relationship with his children for him but his temper gets the better of him as he acts so paranoid and aggressively to me so for safeguarding I have had to stop this.
He doesn’t ask about them hardly any way. It’s so sad. He has lost everything but rarely admits it. And recovery doesn’t even seem to have entered the picture yet – he saw his gp who referrred him to a group that he has done a initial assessment and a few things with in about 3 months but tells me it’s none of my business.
If he wanted to get his act together for the sake of the children who are very young (under 2) he would have if he was truly committed. It’s devastating but we are in a divorce process now as I can’t take the control he seems to enjoy over me (financially etc) too.
It’s so hard. I sympathise hugely x