Hi,
yeh its an interest thing isn’t it, like is it a choice, as they aren’t strong enough to stop it,
although the thing that she hurt me the most with wasn’t using drugs in itself but all the abusive behavior and lies etc that went with it which surely she has some choice of that.
I totally agree that it is like being cheated on, but my girlfriend is rarely sorry for anything, especially when she is still self delusional under the spell of drugs.
for example, about 3 weeks ago, she asked a friend of mine to help her move a large item with his truck, so he did this thinking it might be a good thing as he can then see what its like round there.
she then said to him how she hasn’t been smoking etc and then lit up a spliff, and basically tried to make out that the problem was me being up tight about it etc.
Him being my closest friend obviously he knows all the details etc so he knows this is total bullshit, and I told him I didn’t mind him helping her so long as he stood up to her if she in any way tried to turn things around about me.
so he did stand up for me, and challenged her a bit about how drugs are in no way making her life better etc.
but anyway my point is, to me her smoking during his short visit was just like rubbing it in my face and it is basically the same as if she had been cheating on me and then asked my friend around and the person she cheated on me with was round there, that’s how it felt to me, like i was being attacked via my friend as she obviously knew he would tell me everything.
so that was after 3 weeks of us having not spoken, which I would have hoped would be long enough for her to reflect on things and realise she has treated me like shit and should be trying to fix things but instead she just uses the opportunity of seeing my friend to anger me more.