It must be hard when you should be able to enjoy the new baby bubble and you have the extra stress. It does make you sad for the kids sake too doesn’t it, my partner told the kids he was going to see them early last week and then let them down saying he was unwell, my daughter said to me after “I bet he’s not ill really, why does he lie so much and let us down”. It broke my heart. He does see them regularly, when he’s using he obviously doesn’t see them but they dont understand why.
It is really hard to ignore them when they message etc especially when they are asking for help but like you I feel so much healthier when he isn’t here and having to worry constantly.
No he isn’t living here anymore, I asked him to move out a year ago. He did do it last night, he denied it at first but has now admitted it. He said if I won’t let him come home he will sleep in his car outside so I know he isn’t doing anything. I have told him if he doesn’t want to get professional help then I can no longer help him and I’ve left it at that.