Hi Liberty,
by losing family and pets I meant the family with her yes, so not any of my family,
although to be honest I feel like its probably only the cats that miss me now ha.
We never had kids together (I’ve never wanted any and she had them young) so it was never an issue, but I can assure you if I did have them they would NOT be left there with her now. I feel bad enough about leaving her kids and the cats in the shit like this, but they chose not to back me up when I was trying to confront the problem and have actively encouraged it, so what more can I do but hope by them seeing things go downhill again that that will speak for itself why I was acting as I was and they will see what I was trying to prevent.
and yeh you are nearly right, I’m nearly 35, so not quite early thirties anymore ha,
but I do have my “shit together” for the most part, I’m good with money and can drive and have an alright job (hopefully I still have one to return to) and if I love someone then I don’t need to celebrate valentines day because I will treat them good every day and buy nice gifts anytime I see something thoughtful.
I don’t imagine many women would complain if they had a boyfriend that did half the gestures I would do for her.
I felt like I had become the nagging wife though, that’s how messed up drugs made the dynamic.
like I imagine there is a lot of women working whilst their partner is on furlough and they come home to find he has slept half the day and then played the playstation the rest of it, or had friends round and just made general mess and drinks/food rubbish everywhere.
whereas I was still getting up with her in the morning and made sure everyday when she came home from work the house was tidy etc , washing up done, hoovered, and countless little things like repairing things, diy projects, tidying up etc and if I had a friend round they were helping me with a diy project.
As it has been for the most part my friends and family that would help with most projects/decorating/diy etc but I guess that’s because I am more surrounded by people that have their lives together and can be counted on to help, whereas druggy friends can only be counted on for one thing.
if only I didn’t look like such a weirdo I’m sure the ladies would be lining up haha.
but seriously, I fell madly in love with her, I have only been a good partner because I cared so much for her that it bought out the best in me,
so this best version of myself is probably about as lost as the best version of her is.