ha no I don’t have two heads or anything,
I’m not really that weird just my appearance probably gets stereotyped differently to the type of personality I have, as I have more of a “drug user” appearance, which is hilarious considering I don’t even drink etc and am actually a lot more interested in yoga and eating well etc.
but yes the downhill looks of use will get uglier and uglier, I do worry that eventually she will have made herself age and look so bad that I will no longer fancy her anyway. so being ugly as well as the ugly personality that drugs give them.
do you think the stronger we get though the more they start to cut us out, I feel like this is part of it, the fact that I opened my eyes and saw through all the lies etc eventually, she now knows she can’t fool me anymore so therefore it makes it a lot harder for her to deal with being around me.
it sounds similar with your boyfriend, like you have wised up too much to it all so they are trapped with only being able to push us away as the lies to keep us close have lost power now.
as for feeling lost,I meant the good boyfriend that I was to her is lost, as she bought out the best in me, I wasn’t so kind and considerate before I met her, I was like that through my feelings for her and I guess the sense of responsibility I felt through all the chaos so it forced me to be the adult and to be a better person, and I now worry I couldn’t do all that again for anyone else.
Even if we were to get back together I feel like I couldn’t do it all again for her either though let alone someone new.
I guess I’m just scared by the idea of ever loving again.