David, well done you! Climbing a mountain for the hell of it, sounds great. A great place to be with your own thoughts I bet, I hope you aren’t too achy today. I walked a big chunk of the Thames a few weeks ago, felt like I’d run a marathon after, definitely did too much, shocked me a bit actually, I suppose what did I of expected after a year of nothing!
How are you finding things now? Being away from her I mean? Are you starting to enjoy having some breathing space, being away from some of the drama?
My bf has been good for a couple days, but fell off a cliff again. Covid created a unique situation, as he’s had no means to pay for his vices, he had the opportunity to turn dealer for a dealer. I opposed this massively and he backed out of it. Went on to tell me how being around it made him need more, how seeing those other addicts shocked him, he didn’t want to see him self as one of them. Yesterday, unbeknown to me, he decided to get back in on this, and this time scale up. He decided to con me into giving him money to help him, promised he’d give it back, usually he does, but this was a bit more than he usually borrows, he didn’t pay me back when he said and I’m raging about it. Not just about him not paying back yet, but about what he did with it.
I tried to speak to him, but he was on it and telling me not to burn up his phone. I don’t see how me trying to ring him 3 times for clarity is burning up his phone, especially when I’m trying to establish if and why he lied to me about his intentions, which he did.
So I blocked him.
Part of me feels I’ve overreacted, but I don’t want an addict (and lately, a dealer) for a bf. Given him enough of my life, my good years too.
The thing that really gets me is, now my bf has turned dealer for a dealer, he’s making the problem so much broader than himself. The impact his use has on our lives is hard enough, but extending that to others, behind every sale is a family, a set of arguments, potentially a young person who’s about to be addicted in a detrimental way. In a way which could destroy his/her life irreparably. I can’t stand by and watch this happen anymore.
By choosing this he’s lost me. This is the final straw.
I hope your weekend has started better than mine has. Sending as much positivity your way as I have.