Thank you for sharing your story about your partners addiction and how bad its making you feel. I work for a charity called Icarus Trust. We offer help to people, like you, who are dealing with addiction in their family. If you would like to contact us you could talk with one of our Family Friends who are trained and experienced, and maybe that would help you to see a way ahead.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck with everything.