How refreshing to read an insight into similar life through someone else story .
Today this morning was an all time low for me . As I discovered a small dis guarded cocaine bag . After coming home from work. Where I had been chatting to a friend. Who gave me some advice. I made the horrific find this morning. Confirming the fact that my I thought just “ alcoholic “ husband was in fact taking cocaine. Also as I pieced together events I realised that in fact , he has been a habitual and perpetual taker of cocaine. But somehow I missed all the clues . Clues that I brushed off , constantly tired grumpy. Then boom good mood . A work associate of his said flippantly to me once “ he likes a bit of coke “ unfortunately he was chatting me up so I thought at the time ( as others had thought it too ) I stupidly thought he was lying. Then a few months ago when he was still drinking 3 litres minimum of Gin a week . I found a similar small zip plastic bag . But thought nothing of it . Then after a few rows lately he seems to have calmed the drinking down . But for the last few weekends has been very jolly and up all night . After discussing with a friend who questioned the behaviour. ( having had a relative at home take cocaine) I then realised what I’d not been noting as cocaine taking . Oddly enough thank The Lord God , I literally found the dis guarded evidence plastic bag . To match behaviour. I’ve not told another person . Apart from the friend that gave me the nod . I’m crushed but shell shocked, deeply sad and heart broken. But haven’t cried or confronted my husband. Because I’ve learned over the 5 years with him drinking. It gets me nowhere. It’s like I’m now living in a nightmare that only I’m aware of