Sad isn’t it, mine got clean for 3mths then boom back on it this time his gone from cocaine to crack, in small amount of time his appearance has changed massively, I’ve walked away ive tried to help him trust me there isn’t anything I didn’t do for that man apart from give him money or buy him drugs that was never an option, I was his only normality the only gf his ever had thats not taken coke or anything else with him, sad hey,
My advice is to walk you cantvsave someone else bug you can save yourself, I write poetry song lyrics and rap lyrics today I wrote this I find writing and expressing in words help, I tried he failed and for as long as I take him back I will always be 2nd best always his love is drugs his grip is drugs his addiction is drugs, yeah I do not doubt for one moment this man didn’t love him when it was good it was great when it was bad it was hell, the promises the dreams the future plans, yeah again thats what he wants but its not what he NEEDS and until he makes that decision to be clean I cannot and will not watch him slowly kill himself and deterate, I have children they aren’t his thats no life for me and certainly no lives for my kids, I have written a letter I haven’t sent yet, it explains how his addictions affected me and how much I know although I know he doesn’t want that life his he has to do that himself as what I’ve tried didn’t walk, yes off course I hope one day he will knock on my door clean but I doubt it will happen addiction is a disease but I’ve spent 15mths trying he was the cleanest he had ever been with me as my house isn’t and never will be a drug zone again I have kids, and I don’t do drugs nor do the people I associate with its like I was his escape until the withdrawal really kicked in and he would start rows to walk out be gone for days, I know where he was getting on it with his so called mate or shall I say supply his mate is a serious drug and alcohol addict riddled in mental health, sectioned 3 times before 51 and is a shell doesnt work doesnt do f all claims dla and rarely moves from his flat its flithy and this is where he goes, sad and crazy at the same time, xx