Hi,
So sorry to read you post. It must feel very lonely what you are going through but there are people as well as on this forum who may be able to help.
I work for Icarus Trust, a charity that offers support to people like yourself dealing with addiction in the family. We have trained and experienced Family friends who you could talk with if you get in touch. They would understand what you are going through and may be you wouldn’t feel so alone. They would be able to let you know what other support is available.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Wishing you all the best.