Sorry, just noticed your message. I haven’t been on much this past month, but having a difficult time at the moment and need to try and get my head together. Hoping some positive stories on here can help me through this tough period!
He went missing last Tuesday and returned on Thursday this is when I told him to get out and not come back. He hasn’t been in touch since. He seen the kids at the weekend. Only because he wanted the key for the caravan and he used the kids in order to get it. Since then he hasn’t spoke or seen them.
He has become a vile addict that doesn’t care about his 3 children. It’s so sad because my oldest (8) can see what is going on now and generally doesn’t want to see him. She cried at the thought of spending time with him last week. She sees the pain I am going through and feels for her mam.
I honestly wish I could get him out of my head and move on. Life would be so much easier. At times I wish there was a pill that just took all your feelings for that one person away.
I know I have to take each day as it comes and move one step forward in the hope of putting him in my past.
I do wonder if one day he will return and he will be remorseful for his actions, but at this present time I don’t see that happening. He is quite happy to carry on doing what he is doing. Living day to day with no goal for the future, having no responsibilities, and doing what he wants.
I’d never wish any bad on him as I know the drug has buried the person I fell in love with deep inside. However, I can’t help but feel dislike even hatred and bitterness towards the person he has become. In time I hope this passes to where I feel nothing.
I hope you are keeping well x