I’m sorry to read of the problems you are facing because of your partner’s addiction. It must be very hard for you.
I work for a charity called Icarus Trust which offers support to people going through what you are due to addiction in the family. we know it’s hard to deal with and we have trained and experienced Family Friends who you could talk with if you get in touch. Maybe talking to one of them might help you to make sense of it all and find a way ahead.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope this helps. Good luck.