Thanks! I think I’m pretty good at knowing when he’s right messed up on it through some of the things you point out. He chews tobacco so that covers the jaw symptoms. If he comes home shit faced after a night out with friends that do it, he gets super lovey dovey, saying he loves me ten times and “thank you for loving me”. That’s usually my give away but at that point he’s so wasted it’s obvious. He says why do you care if I do it if I’m nice to you…..but as I’m sure many on here know, the honeymoon will end if his habit gets worse and it will absolutely end up hurting me and our 4 kids. He’s had a daily/multiple times per week habit in his past (a decade ago, got clean he says by changing jobs). If it got that bad once, my logic is it will again if he never gets treatment and is now back in another job where cocaine is all over the place (oil and gas sales)
I guess it’s more the “how bad have you hit it in the past from people and what did you get away with” that’s in my mind. Or on the other side, what was hid from you. Like, do people do just small amounts and get away with it all the time with their partners none the wiser? Just thinking they’re in a good mood or whatever?
Prior to him I have had zero experience with this stuff, but I’m not a tee totaller. I like to drink and have fun, but I draw the line at hard drugs! Especially when someone has kids