Hi balu, I am so sorry to read your story. No need to feel alone as everyone here has a loved onevwith addictions.
We all have been treated badly, it’s the addiction that makes them so selfish and lash out at the people who do the most for them.
My son is 28 and has cocaine and alcohol addictions, I feel your pain.
In my opinion you deserve so much more, someone who will appreciate the kind person you are. Only you can decide what is best for you, but please don’t wait around unless he is willing to change his lifestyle. I think it’s time to be kind to yourself, whatever it takes.
Take care
Lx