Hi Leedsgal,
I am sorry you are going through this, it really is so hard. I am in a very similar position. You are such a credit to your mum, the way that you have supported her all these years… it really is a very very difficult thing to do and I am sure you have shed many tears over the situation… I know I have.
I would echo what Lindyloo said… you need to make sure your mental health and well-being is taken care of. I made the transition from putting all my efforts into supporting my mum to putting the efforts into my own mental recovery. The experience really took a toll on me and it might have for you also.
You don’t want to cut your mum off, so you can perhaps spend some time with her and help her out as you want to, but please also think of yourself. Make time to do things you enjoy or that you find to relieve stress. This will help in some way to stop you worrying so much.
You can’t control what your mum does unfortunately and so maybe concentrate on what you CAN control… your health and wellbeing.
You are brilliant 🙂