Hi Liberty,
sounds like a familiar situation to my own,
they just push us away.
and I guess eventually we can only take so much,
obviously my limit was having the kids used as a weapon against me was the final straw really, and I could no longer excuse her behavior like I had all these years.
I have still had no contact, and the longer she leaves it the more angry I feel, I’m getting to the point of thinking maybe I never actually meant anything to her at all, despite all the good times, its like the memory of them is fading so all I am left with is the hurt caused not only at the end, but the memories of all the other times she treated me utterly unfair and selfishly.
I alternate though, so some days I feel so angry at how she has treated me, and angry with myself for pandering to her for all those years which in effect enabled her to treat me like it more.
but part of me fills with sadness and I start crying etc when I pity her and think how messed up it must be inside her head to be so incapable of any sort of self reflection, and to constantly act so self destructively seemingly with no control to stop herself.
still having lots of walks and have actually booked a hotel next week so I can go up to the lake district for a few nights this time rather than my long day trips ha.
what do you think you will do next?