I can’t say for sure how long he did clean as I feel like a detective constantly looking into his eyes at his pupils if he’s been outside a little too long, I’m just not enjoying it anymore it’s turning into a job rather than an enjoyable relationship.
The worst thing is when he’s been on it and he talks as though I want to act like that, saying I’m controlling and saying his friend joked that I’m like a police woman. To be honest if he really wanted to quit I think he wouldn’t be in touch with that friend anymore as they can’t see each other without doing that. I know he did over a week without physically seeing him. I don’t enjoy checking up on him at all, it’s very stressful and makes me very anxious. It’s also upsetting that a grown adult can’t just be trusted, I don’t want to feel like his mother. When he was doing well this time I didn’t tell him what to do I just occasionally was telling him how proud i was, and he seemed so pleased himself. so for him to say I want to control him now his minds changed again is particular upsetting.
Yes he was same as yours when he did well more caring than ever and wanted to be involved with stuff with me and the children, one night of that and that’s it now it’s ruined everything and I’m just there longing for the person I saw last week, I don’t even like this ‘other person’ and to be honest wish he wasn’t in my house.
Yes usually I try to stay positive but last night I just cried and cried until I fell asleep that’s why I didn’t see your reply. I just can’t see a way forward for us and it breaks my heart to realise and accept that.
That is hard decision for you to make and you have to do what’s right for you. Maybe have a think about what would you decide if he wasn’t in the picture at all. I think I would have had more children myself if he hadn’t turned out to be this unreliable person. I see what your saying about the worst timing to find out about the pregnancy, it is so hard and a very emotional time. Do you have other people around who can support you any siblings or parents?x