Hi She,
Oh boy, yes they become the masters of manipulation! Treat those close (you) like the enemy, but to everyone else they appear to be wonderful.
I only confided in a couple of friends, I did not tell my family, or his. I think to be fair if I had told his family it would have been worse for me. The fear of repercussion of anything I did was massive. No, he never physically abused me, but the mental abuse was torture. You become desensitised to it to a point, their behaviour becomes almost acceptable, but if you talk about it to anyone else they look at you like you are nuts to still be together.
I stayed because I knew there was a good person in there and also because we have a child and part of that being that I did not want to ever have to leave her with him alone (crazy right!).
He now talks about people who ‘use’ with contempt and disgust. I truly hope this is forever now. The fear of relapse for me is still there, but its getting easier.
Do you have kids? does he work? Part of our problem was that my husband could afford it, he never got into debt or borrowed money. It made it easy!
Ash x