It is hard because it’s still in your system and wants more. I feel like I just finished a jigsaw puzzle and I’ve just mixed it all up again and have to start again, and piece it all up again. But I’m feeling happy today. I needed to connect more with ex addicts and my sponsor and I never. But I am now. It the fear of phoning people and being shy but I’m doing it now and sharing a lot more in meetings.
So I’m feeling positive now.
I know I just couldn’t face it on here after relapsing. But something clicked this morning and told me to go back on and share my story. It’s part of recovery I guess. I’m not proud of what I did and what I said to my ex. It’s a long story so can’t really explain on here. But ye.. It was my fault. Cocaine turned me into a nasty person that night. Because also I had not used for 4month. It was a lot worse the effects. I just have to dust my self off and start again and not give up. Thanks so much deb x