I could go on all day about this subject but I can’t say on here, as some one I know might see. If you ever want my email I can explain more. But that’s entirely up to you.
But cocaine turns you into a bit of a sex pest. I’m not gonna lie to you. That bit we’re he sends pics of women to other women is strange.
It’s a seedy drug, it’s made me cheat. I’ve never cheated on previous partners when I was never on coke. A hell of a lot of coke uses, men… Use escorts, go on seedy dating sites, cheat left right and centre. But the thing is, nothing really happens in the end because it makes you small and not able to perform.
It’s like a thrill seeker drug, you want to be taking things to the extreme, and a risk taker. It ruins family’s, it turns you into something that you are not. A vile cheating horrible person. Then like you say the next day.. Regret and remorse kick in.. Why did I do that.. Why did I say that.
And soba.. Would we do it?? No.
Alot of guys can just watch porn on it all night, and I’ll be honest I’ve never been like that and that’s the truth.
In the meetings and the AA book, this is common and a big section on it.. We do the same thing every time and it’s the same outcome. We think using this time will be different.. I won’t do this or that. But again we do it. We call it being in the madness doing the same thing every time expecting different results and it doesn’t happen.
A big thing in the book and what we learn, and it took me a while to understand it and it makes sence. Is that some people have an allergy to alcohol and coke and drugs. We have an allergic reaction to it. We’re as you could have one drink may be 2, and say I’m going bed now I’m tired or I’m going home. We’re as me or someone else I’ll drink the house dry, even tho I’m not an alcoholic. Or some people can have one bag of coke and behave them selves. We’re as I will keep on getting more and more and act basically a nob and it effects me differently.
You might find this difficult to beleive.. I did aswell. But I can see now what it means.