Oh god love you, you poor thing ????
It’s utterly heartbreaking ???? I’m so so sorry that you & your family are suffering like this.
Be reassured that you are not alone although I know that it can feel like it at times !
My son is 35 & is at the bottom of a very slippery slope , he’s a cocaine addict & has been for what has now become apparent many years.
He has caused untold grief & devastation & is today going to become homeless.
I like yourself yearn for “my son “ to come back to me. I honestly don’t recognise the shell of a person that he has become & like yourself I am beyond broken by this situation.
Do what you have to do to keep yourself sane & safe, I wish we could save them with love & care but unfortunately it really isn’t that simple.
Keep checking in with all the support groups that are available . You need all the support you can get,you can’t help anyone unless you are well.
Sending you love & light, all the best to you & your family ????