Absolutely, it’s hard because you know it’s an illness, but eventually even that doesn’t help the pain of being on the receiving end of their lies & manipulation, whilst they literally feel nothing.
I will say though that, I’ve been in “ I can save him mode “ for years before it actually sunk in that I was helping nobody and damaging only me .
I read all this stories of partners just finding out and I think of how I was just like them and knowing what lies ahead truly is heartbreaking.
I’m pleased you are slowly healing too, the hardest thing is closing that door and maintaining your boundaries. But after every plea for forgiveness follows yet another lie or verbal abuse when you call them out .
Especially when they are quite the narcissist anyway. X