My partner passed away last week. Multiple organ failure. I think his body went into shock, by the sound of it, he might have had uncontrolled diabetes which wasn’t being treated. Maybe he knew and was in denial, maybe it hadn’t been picked up, but addiction led to it. He was 45. His last coherent words were that he wanted to be with me. I’m going through the “maybe I could have” scenarios. Rational mind says I tried everything and it became too much for me. But I know I should have separated us both earlier down the line- so maybe he would have had a chance- as he would have realised earlier. What I will say, from what I see, is that a big part of addiction is shame. So making them feel ashamed is just perpetuating their addiction. He was just starting to open up about psychological issues from his childhood and upbringing. Unfortunately it was too late. I do think that we need to focus on ourselves and make ourselves stronger- it is the only way forward. Don’t leave it too late. They have to face themselves and possibly need deep psychological help, which they need to be ready for- and your leaving them might just be the trigger for that to happen. And please reach out to others. You can’t carry this weight on your own. Hugs x
