I really wish I could tell you something positive Mariaf but there is no happy ending here , not where he is currently at , sadly having been here myself, unless they truly want to stop I am afraid that your words are lost on them.
I wasted 3 years of my life trying to save my husband, I have been manipulated ,lied to, blamed verbally abused called a psycho a narcissist a sociopath all by the man I loved for 19 years.
Sweetheart it changes them so much. to the point you no longer recognise them, this forum will help as you will read stories which will be like reading your own life story it all goes the same way.
My advice is this , research the illness so you understand it … this is nothing you have done… know that the man you love will not be put you before drugs, that now comes first and foremost.
You cannot save him and you will break yourself trying to do so, he won’t quit cocaine whilst he is drinking he needs to stop both it’s as you will read largely the only way.
He needs to reach rock bottom before he will stop and even then he might not. But do not let him drag you down there too especially financially .My husband swore on our sons life he would quit he relapsed time and time again. My son stood sobbing begging him to stop , it did not register he said I had brainwashed him.
We are all here to help and I bet there isn’t a single scenario that you have been through or going thorough that we haven’t .
My husband left because it was easier to use, I took him back twice and then as soon as I started asking him to do tests he would create a row and leave .
Emotional relapse is a real thing they will sub consciously cause a row so that they can go get high they don’t even know they do it. He will go get high and you will be left damaged by everything that was said , they lack so much empathy when they are in the depths of addiction they no longer care if you are hurt.
Sending love and strength x