Yup me too , I had counselling because he made me believe I was the problem , 6 months of counselling because apparently my mood swings causes his relapses .
I had counselling which soon actually made me realise that my moods were a symptom not the cause , he was the cause.
I often took the blame just to keep things calm , thinking okay if I just take this one I can get him happy again and he will quit .
I promise you that you will get to the ping that you will find your voice and finally say ….. ENOUGH!! I no longer will listen to your transferral of blame to me, you won’t believe it you won’t accept it and pretty soon you will soon start to resent him .
Don’t get me wrong I love my husband o bits but right now , I dislike him immensely , he’s toxic to me and our son.
Honey it’s awful , and nobody apart from those of us that have walked the same path as you will ever understand how it feels.
I hope he sees sense honey, but don’t keep dragging him out of burning building that he will run straight back into 2 weeks later .
Xx