Hi Mb9345,
Welcome to the Forum.
Your story is like so many others on here, you need to read the other threads and see that the pattern is always the same with the addicts.
None of this is your fault, they have to blame someone, but never themselves.
I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), he is doing just ok at the moment. He had been to rehab twice, but I don’t see any effort being made at the moment, so I just take a step back for now and I wait till the next time that he thinks he’s going to try, it’s not ideal, but this is my coping mechanism at the moment.
My friends and family know my situation, you need people to talk too, and with his family blaming you, I would definitely tell them the truth, at the end of the day what have you got to lose?
They will only do it when they are ready and who knows when that will be.
I would have a good long think about what you want with your children, I wouldn’t wish living with an addict on anyone, it’s like living in hell. I know it’s an illness, but only they can get themselves better.
I don’t want to sound harsh, but it’s not a life I would of chosen, but because he is my Son, I stick around for now, but there is only so much you can take.
Keep in touch on here, read the other threads and take care of you and your children.
Take care
Dx.