Reply To: Need Advise

#24008
esta
Participant

I know from experience and it is so hard to step away but I promise you it gets better and you will begin to see it for what it really is

You will have many tears and overwhelming grief but that will eventually turn to relief – that’s a great feeling when you reach that turning point and you will

For one you will get more sleep and you will be able to think more clearly

Then your emotions will settle because you won’t be on edge and the tied knots in your stomach will begin to relax as the worry disappears and you will start to relax

Your overall being will begin to heal and you will realise just how ill it has made you

Stress is a silent killer and you will realise how much you have been under as it has just become so normal to live under hyper stressed chaotic conditions

You say exactly what every partner feels – that you are the only one there for them and you feel responsible for them and that if you step away they will sink – that’s part of the addiction and manipulation

But they haven’t changed to protect the relationship or you and they won’t and that is gutting

You will ask yourself why wasn’t I enough

Why wasn’t what I was offering enough for you to stop

Why wasn’t I good enough

But it’s not you

It’s the addiction and it’s bigger than anything you can offer

And he will do anything to protect it

But it will change you and not for the better and there is no one looking out for you – only you

I promise you with time you WILL feel better

it takes time but you will realise you are lying to yourself because you are living a lie fed by lies

deceit and manipulation are the tools of an addict to protect their addiction and keep their enabler exactly where they want them

They will tell you what you want to hear

You have a gut instinct and it’s telling you that you are being lied to

You have already caught him out

I can see that you are reaching all these conclusions for yourself and I think you will be strong enough

Without trust there is nothing

Be true to yourself

Close the chapter and move on

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