I know from experience and it is so hard to step away but I promise you it gets better and you will begin to see it for what it really is
You will have many tears and overwhelming grief but that will eventually turn to relief – that’s a great feeling when you reach that turning point and you will
For one you will get more sleep and you will be able to think more clearly
Then your emotions will settle because you won’t be on edge and the tied knots in your stomach will begin to relax as the worry disappears and you will start to relax
Your overall being will begin to heal and you will realise just how ill it has made you
Stress is a silent killer and you will realise how much you have been under as it has just become so normal to live under hyper stressed chaotic conditions
You say exactly what every partner feels – that you are the only one there for them and you feel responsible for them and that if you step away they will sink – that’s part of the addiction and manipulation
But they haven’t changed to protect the relationship or you and they won’t and that is gutting
You will ask yourself why wasn’t I enough
Why wasn’t what I was offering enough for you to stop
Why wasn’t I good enough
But it’s not you
It’s the addiction and it’s bigger than anything you can offer
And he will do anything to protect it
But it will change you and not for the better and there is no one looking out for you – only you
I promise you with time you WILL feel better
it takes time but you will realise you are lying to yourself because you are living a lie fed by lies
deceit and manipulation are the tools of an addict to protect their addiction and keep their enabler exactly where they want them
They will tell you what you want to hear
You have a gut instinct and it’s telling you that you are being lied to
You have already caught him out
I can see that you are reaching all these conclusions for yourself and I think you will be strong enough
Without trust there is nothing
Be true to yourself
Close the chapter and move on