I could have written your post myself.
It’s almost reassuring to read because it makes me feel less alone and less crazy – the behaviour is almost text book, why do they do it when they make it plainly clear how much they ‘hate’ us and don’t want to be with us ans we are to blame.
I have two young children, also going through a divorce and also in the manipulation/ mind games even though we are separated there always seems to be something he wants to torment me about – makes it like it’s about the kids but like you say never really asks about them. Mine are so young that they actually don’t know him.
Also he wouldn’t engage with solicitor etc for 4 months when I started a divorce ans even now isn’t fully aware of what’s going on. Only thinks of himself ans his own selfish needs. Like you say how can they choose this over a family – wife and children. It’s heartbreaking.
I am sure even though it is hard, one day they will see the damage and what they lost. If not I too fear it could be that knock at the door to say the worst has happened. It’s truly devastating. My life is destroyed and I literally had no idea or inkling that it was drugs.
Take care