Hi StraightUp,
Thanks for sharing your story and we’re really sorry to hear about what you’re currently going through with your sister which must be so challenging and that you are in a particularly dark place at the moment.
It’s really important that you speak with someone about what you are going through – you can call Samaritans on 116 123 (freephone), they are available 24/7.
Do take care at this difficult time,
Adfam