Hiya ,
You will never be able to control his addiction . Trust me , I’ve been trying to control my partner/ex partners addiction for 2 years and I learned the hard way that no matter what you do or what you say , the grip of addiction changes them and you need to come accept you are no longer number one in his life .
You now have a 3rd person in this relationship and he will chose his addiction over you and over himsekf every single time .
This does not mean he doesn’t love you or he doesn’t want to stop , but in the grip of addiction there is a little devil on there shoulder telling them why they should have a drink , how it will make things better , how it’s not a problem . Addiction is a Brian disease so please don’t hold it against him .
My advice to you is to look after yourself , mentally and physically . Otherwise you will be come addicted to his addiction . Like I did , and it broke me and made me very ill and I still am . He is no longer the same person , so you are about to be tested to your very limit . Stick some clear boundaries down and you must be prepared to stick by them . This is for your own sanity .
Keep posting and asking for help as this forum is amazing , as we’ve all been there and walked the walk you are about to take , we all think , no our loved ones won’t end up that bad , but addiction is addiction and with out professional treatment it always gets worse …
Take a look at YouTube and search for Dr Gabon Mate , educate your self what addiction is . He’s not trying to hurt you he’s trying to survive and deal with some kind of emotional trauma.
Take care and people are always here for you …..