I resonate so much with your story. I’m so sorry you’re also going through this. My world started to fall apart in April when out of the blue my husband did not coke home for 3 days. Very unlike him, we always had such a great bond and told each other how lucky we were all the time. The couple of weeks following I never knew if he would be coming home or not – he had never done anything like this before. He was suddenly so mean and cold. Freaking out over the littlest things. Not wanting to talk at all. Then I found a message on our computer from one of his friends that said “the next time you do coke I’m punching you”. As soon as I saw that all of the irrational behavior that didn’t make sense suddenly did. But of course even confronting him that night he said it was only a couple times (over the course of 5 months?) and that he was done with it. I’m positive he was on it during our conversation. I have friends that used it in the past and as soon as that was out I can now pinpoint it. He’s now said he can’t commit to coming home anymore and has left me (he’s been out of the house 2.5 months now) Ive noticed several occasions since he left the house that he’s been on it. Just no denying it for me. Not himself at all. Our friends notice a change in his personality and he doesn’t talk to any of them anymore. He’s got a whole new life suddenly, a new job, new friends. I ask myself is it just a coincidence that in the same timeframe I find out your using coke (and it’s clearly a problem) is the same time you feel our marriage isn’t going to work? We were just talking about our future children weeks before this all came about… just really struggling to know if his brain has just been completely altered because of the drugs or if this is truly a clear minded decision 🙁
So hard when you don’t have any answers… He would rather sleep on a “friends” couch now than in his home with his wife. He calls and acts like this is all normal. It blows my mind. Thanks to anyone who reads this and can offer any advice. Xo