I have had the thought many times that he is just so ashamed of what he has done to me (I also found messages of him with other women – he was SO against cheating and was disgusted with anyone who would do this before). He hasn’t owned up to anything he’s done or apologized once. This all just happened so fast. Literally the month of April then poof he’s gone and done with me. Out of no where, no one would have ever seen this coming. And I went to his family as I was so concerned and I think this made him push me away even more. They don’t see a problem though as “he seems fine” when they talk to him… which is for what 5 mins a day? To this day he would act like I’m insane if I tried to accuse him of using.
Its helpful to know that you can relate to the all of a sudden they take coke they want to stay out at friends, the lies, etc.
Just crazy that he thinks this is normal… I was prescribed anxiety medication because of all this and he was pestering me to find out why I was at the doctors so I told him. He says “is it because your homesick??” Like he didn’t just leave me and drain our account or anything… just unbelievable and delusional. He seems to just be on another planet sometimes. Couldn’t even remember what city our lawyers were in, took our pillows saying he thought they were his dads? Telling me things and not remembering at all when apparently sober…
I know all sings point to the drug but still so hard when I’m the only one who sees it.