I thought you may have assumed that – it’s my ex partner who is the addict.
I’ve asked myself that question for many many years and still no straight answer.
What I have learnt is;
1. Sometimes they don’t want your help the drug is the only thing they desire. They have got to want to be clean in order to accept your help and not push you away
2. Their feelings are suppressed due to the misuse, leaving them with little to none emotions, empathy and understanding of what you are saying, doing and trying to help them with. I could cry tears, scream and shout and still my ex would have ne emotion or reaction to the situation. He would just stare blankly at me.
3. Anger and aggression from the come down is taken out on those close to them regardless if you are trying to help. They need to take their frustration out on someone and its always the ones who try to support them.
4. The love for the drug comes before everything – their kids, family, true friends, work, bills etc.
5. They will lie, manipulate and are deceitful
The main thing that I have established is that being in love with an addict can be one of the most loneliest places in the world. If I knew what I know now I would have walked away years ago before I got in to deep and had children.
Wishing you well and hope you are doing ok