My ex partner came home tonight . I asked her why is it when she’s on coke does she say how much she’s loves me and she wants rehab . But a day later she won’t even talk about it .
She basically said when it’s in her system , she feels normal again and she can think clearly without a distorted vision .
When it’s run out and shes craving it again , there’s nothing she wants more than to get some and everything and anything makes her angry.
She said she wish she could stop the thoughts of this little devil inside her head , but she said he just keeps on and on at her about getting it .
It’s really scary if you think about it !
She said she doesn’t really Want to stop taking it as she’s scared of the effect it’s gonna have on her mental health and she’s had 2 bad break downs before . Shes currently using 3 to 4 grams a week .
So I said this is gonna be you for the rest of your life then ? She said she doesn’t want that but she can’t stop .
I think I understand it all now and I understand she will end up in a very bad place .
I think my time is up now
Now she’s just taken 2 diazepam and she’s sleeping .